


Everybody's Favourite Hallmark Romance

by The_Magic_Rat



Series: I Think We’re Alone Now [3]
Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 10:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21354769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Magic_Rat/pseuds/The_Magic_Rat
Summary: Gabriel gets hooked on Heaven’s favourite soap – Angel and Demon Squishy Time.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: I Think We’re Alone Now [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1660048
Comments: 7
Kudos: 72





	Everybody's Favourite Hallmark Romance

**Author's Note:**

> Follows “I Think We’re Alone Now” Parts I & II

_ **Good Omens – Everybody’s Favourite Hallmark Romance.** _

_ **Author: The Magic Rat  
Rating: PG13  
Pairings: Crowley/Aziraphale  
Warnings: Some angst.  
Word Count: 4,827** _

_ **Website – Ex Libris: http://www.winter-wood.net/ex-libris/index.html  
Live Journal: http://delaese.livejournal.com/profile** _

_ **Disclaimer: All Good Omens characters, places and situations are the property of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, and are used without permission and without intent of plagiarism or profit. Copyright for all stories and original characters is with the author, and may not be published, copied, distributed or archived without the author's prior written consent.** _

_ **Summary: Gabriel gets hooked on Heaven’s favourite soap – Angel and Demon Squishy Time.** _

_ **Author’s notes: Getting back into the swing of writing again after a very long bout of depression.** _

_ **Follows “I Think We’re Alone Now” Parts I & II** _

~*~*~*~*~*~

EPISODE ONE – “THAT is copulating.”

Gabriel sat riveted to the screen before him, determined to understand this...thing, this strange feeling, this...whatever it was those two ineffable idiots had. To his left sat Michael. To his right, Sandalphon. Both were staring at Gabriel in a manner that implied they did not think spying on Crowley and Aziraphale was a good idea. The last time they interfered with the pair, they ended up scrubbing toilets in Hell.

On screen, utterly unaware they were being observed, Crowley and Aziraphale were drinking wine and re-arranging their bedroom to make room for a truly gigantic bed of indeterminate age and origin. They strained and wrestled and grunted, fighting with the thing, barely able to move it, and...laughing. Why were they always laughing? What was funny about this? Then, as Aziraphale almost had the thing where they wanted, Crowley yelled “PIVOT!”

This apparently was hysterically funny. Aziraphale sat down hard without dignity, laughing until tears ran down his face. 

“Ah fuck it,” said Crowley, taking a swig of wine. He snapped his fingers, and all was in order. He looked around. “It’s a miracle!”

“Are they drunk?” asked Gabriel.

“Certainly getting there,” said Michael. “Why are we watching them? We were specifically told to leave them alone.”

“I just...don’t understand them,” said Gabriel, clearly frustrated.

“What’s to understand? They’re blithering idiots.”

On screen, the pair sat down on their bed, gazing at each other. Then they leaned close, and kissed softly. Gabriel watched with intensity. 

“THIS is what I don’t understand. This...act! They’re an angel and a demon, they are natural enemies, why are they...COPULATING?!”

“That’s not copulating,” said Sandalphon. “That is kissing.”

“It’s vile!”

“Then why are you watching it?” asked Michael wearily.

“Because I am deeply confused by their choice of companion!”

“Well the demon could certainly do better,” said Michael dryly. Sandalphon tried not to grin.

In their room, unaware that they were being observed, Aziraphale and Crowley moved closer, kissing, touching, speaking softly.

“You like the new bed?” asked Crowley.

“I love it. I think it is the most beautiful bed I have ever seen. You’re so considerate, Crowley.”

“Never. I’m a horrible evil demon.”

“Of course. The most evil. The most...” The angel looked him over as if he were the last apple in Eden. “tempting...”

“Am I?” Crowley let his head fall back for Aziraphale to nibble his throat. 

“Ever so tempting.”

“And you adore me?”

“The air you breathe, I live to give you,” said Aziraphale. 

“Well that’s clearly not true,” said Gabriel. The trio watched as Crowley sank down to the bed, Aziraphale moving over top of him as they kissed and caressed.

“The demon submits willingly...?” questioned Michael. “There’s no force?”

“Has to be trained,” said Sandalphon.

Gabriel shook his head slightly in puzzlement, as on screen the pair slowly undressed one another. Naked on the bed, they moved their bodies close, and...

“THAT is copulating,” said Sandalphon smugly.

“Eyew,” said Michael.

Crowley made quiet sounds, holding his lover tightly. Black wings unfolded and shook with a rustling of large feathers, then gently closed around Aziraphale. There was no force, no struggle for power or to subdue the other. Just an obvious desire to enjoy one another’s pleasure, and their closeness. 

“I don’t understand,” said Michael. “And isn’t the purpose of this act for mortals to procreate? They’re not going to procreate, Heaven and Hell would never allow it! So what is the point?”

“Pleasure would be my guess,” said Gabriel. 

“Pleasure and the reinforcement of emotional bonds,” said a voice from behind them. The guilty trio looked abruptly to the speaker. Sebastian loomed over them, arms crossed, his face a mask of disapproval. “You were asked to leave Azzy and Crowley alone.”

“We are leaving them alone,” said Gabriel. “We’re just...studying them.”

“Why?” asked Sebastian.

“Because I do not for the life of me understand their connection,” said Gabriel.

“Well that would be because their connection is based on six thousand years of finding common ground, trust building, companionship, respect, fun, comfort, and having each other’s backs,” said Sebastian. “Whereas I don’t believe the three of you have ever experienced any of that.”

“But they’re a demon and a...!”

“They know that,” said Sebastian. “But they allowed themselves to look past it. We’re angels, we’re supposed to be the embodiment of love. Why are those two such a mystery to you?”

On screen, Aziraphale and Crowley were still making love. The demon seemed shaken up, and clearly wanted comforting. His angel was only too happy to comply.

“It’s all right Crowley, I have you. I know, you get a little overwhelmed...”

“I just worry at times you may one day not love me. I have nightmares...”

“It’s all right. I’m here...”

“Always?”

“Always. How is your shoulder?”

“Little sore. I’m fine. The wing I broke bothers me more.”

“Oh poor darling. It was a very bad break, wasn’t it?”

“Damn bad break,” said Sebastian. “He should have lost it. Azzy must have busted his ass fixing it.”

“Wouldn’t it have been easier to remove it?” asked Michael.

Sebastian shrugged. “Yeah. Much easier. But when you truly love someone, you bust your ass to fix the wing. Now I’m going to go away, and NOT report this, but you three need to leave Azzy and Crowley alone. Now.”

Sandalphon and Michael left, as did Gabriel. But once the others were gone, he crept back to resume watching. On screen, Crowley held his angel tightly, with arms, legs and wings. He was uttering the strangest cries...WHY did this all confound him so? 

Crowley screamed, writhing beneath Aziraphale, wailing the angel’s name...was he in pain? What....was he saying? Something something on a fucking something crucifix I fucking love you. Well that was needlessly blasphemous. But Crowley was a demon, so...went with the territory, really. Crowley collapsed beneath his lover, who was still thrusting.

“You have the best fucking cock in the universe,” Crowley declared, panting. 

“And how would you know that?” Aziraphale teased, kissing him. 

“Well it’s attached to you, for one thing.” Pause. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Gabriel turned off the screen and went for a run. Normally exercise solved all his issues, but this time it just wasn’t working. Only one thing to do...go talk to the idiots. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

EPISODE TWO – Forgiveness is Divine.

“He’s not fond of you,” Aziraphale understated, trying to hold Crowley like a large and enormously pissed off cat. The demon had toxic saliva spraying from his jaws as he fought to get his fangs into Gabriel. The archangel has shown up and rung the doorbell, and it was by sheer chance Aziraphale was there to hold off Crowley.

“I see that,” said Gabriel. “Well, only one thing to do. Make friends!” Gabriel smiled at the enraged creature like a phony TV preacher, and extended his hand. “It’s okay Crowley, I forgive you.”

“Oh dear Heaven,” muttered Aziraphale, and let Crowley go. He then looked up to the collection of cherubs in the rafters. “Who would like to help me make cake, and who wants to clean the blood off the hall?”

There were far more votes for cake than blood. Aziraphale began walking to the kitchen, ignoring Gabriel’s screams for mercy. Gabriel was certainly a very capable fighter, but caught off guard and without a weapon made for a difficult battle for any warrior. Then there was the added fact that he was clearly allergic to demonic serpent venom and was swelling up like Violet in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

“Aziraphale for God’s sake have mercy!”

“Just keep telling him you forgive him for getting his skull smashed and his wing broken by those monsters you summoned. And you forgive him for when you had Sandalphon assault me.”

“I’M SORRY I’M SORRY JUST DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN CALL HIM OFF!”

“He’s my husband, not my pet!” Aziraphale returned to the scene of the battle. “Crowley, darling, as much as I share your desire to see him dead, this will result in more paperwork than you and I care for.”

Crowley only backed off when he heard little Pearl from down the hall open the door to ask what all the noise was. He yanked Gabriel into the apartment and closed the door, then allowed Aziraphale to gently restrain him from going after Gabriel again. 

“Why are you here?” Aziraphale asked sharply. “You are NOT welcome here. After all the hateful things you have done...”

Slowly it occurred to Aziraphale that Gabriel was in no condition to respond. He sighed heavily, then called Michael, who answered the phone somewhat warily.

“Hello...?”

“You need to come get something off my carpet before my husband resumes chewing on it,” said Aziraphale. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

EPISODE THREE – Dinner Theater.

Michael and Sandalphon came for Gabriel, who was an utter mess – great random purple swellings over his face and body, puncture wounds leaking slowly, clothes torn and blood-stained. Aziraphale wished Crowley had not gone after Gabriel; he was sure there would be ramifications. But really! Gabriel forgave Crowley?! For what?! SURVIVING???

Sandalphon nearly said something to Crowley, but the way he was growling made Sandalphon decide that might be better suited for another day. Gabriel was carted off, the blood in the hall miraculously vanished, and Aziraphale began making Crowley his favourite dinner. Angrily.

“THE BLOODY NERVE! HE FORGIVES YOU?! HE?! FORGIVES YOU?!” Aziraphale chopped herbs and onions at a dangerous pace. “WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU DO TO HIM?! SURVIVE A VIOLENT ASSAULT AND SUBSEQUENT POISONINGS?!” He pulled out a frying pan and slammed it angrily onto the stove. “IF HE COMES HERE ONE MORE TIME I SHALL REPORT HIM! MAYBE THIS TIME THEY WILL SEND HIM BELOW ON A PERMANENT BASIS!”

“Unlikely,” said Crowley, “Beelzebub can’t stand him.”

“THEN BEELZEBUB AND I ARE IN FULL AGREEMENT ON THE MATTER!”

Crowley walked over to his angel, standing behind him as he slipped his arms around him. “You’re sexy when you’re livid.”

Aziraphale turned around to face his husband. “Does it make me a bad angel that I’m happy you bit him?”

“I don’t think so.” Crowley kissed him. “But you are very sexy when you’re enraged.”

“Well that’s not fair. You’re sexy all the time.” Aziraphale kissed him gently. “So – Bouillabaisse for dinner tonight?”

“I love it when you talk dirty.”

Aziraphale kissed him again, then asked; “Why Alpha Centauri?”

“Why not Alpha Centauri?”

“They’re two suns. All the furniture would have burned up.”

“Ah. Well...who needs furniture when you have love?”

“Furniture, houses, cars, clothes...”

“Can’t live without my car. I’m in love with my car. There is a third planet in the Alpha Centauri system you know.”

“It’s a red dwarf.”

“I love that show.”

“I love you. But if there is ever another pending apocalypse, we need to pick a planet more carefully.”

“There was no we, there was just me with my heart broken trying to save my own ass and realizing I couldn’t live without you.”

Aziraphale just stared at him. “Crowley, that was brilliant. You shamed me, made me feel bad for you, and fall even harder in love with you than I already am all in one sentence. And I can’t live without you either.”

“Can we agree to never break up again? I mean, given our respective natures we’ll probably fight again...”

Aziraphale held him close and kissed him. “Crowley, I will never not love you, and we will never break up again.”

Crowley sighed in contentment, and snuggled close. Aziraphale just held him, and smiled. They could start supper in a little while.

~*~*~*~*~*~

EPISODE FOUR – Ineffable Idiots.

There was an elephant in the room. There had been for about two weeks. Gabriel was glued to the TV screen in his room as he sat in bed, eating ice cream and recovering from a demonic serpent attack. Crowley’s strikes had been beautifully placed; not one was located in a spot Gabriel could easily cover. Rather than risk showing up at the office covered in blotches and bites, Gabriel decided to use some of his copious vacation time to heal. And continue his “surveillance” of Aziraphale and Crowley. The problem was he didn’t have 24 hour access to this channel; he didn’t dare leave it on all the time. If he was caught...well... Hell hath no fury like a demonic bathroom after Taco Tuesday.

They were sitting in their study, Crowley on the deep brown leather sofa, looking pensive, one long leg bouncing nervously. Aziraphale was in a matching arm chair, rubbing his hands and looking worried. Finally Crowley rose to his feet and strode off to another part of their apartment, his angel watching anxiously. 

Gabriel watched, transfixed, scarcely breathing. The spoon that held vanilla ice cream was poised between his mouth and the bowl, slowly dripping. What was happening? What were they so upset about? This was driving him crazy!

He gasped slightly in anticipation as Crowley returned, moving in that weird hip-and-shoulder way that...well...could possibly attract one’s attention, if one cared about that sort of thing. Crowley dropped down to the sofa in a way that implied he’d never quite got the hang of furniture. He was holding a small object in his hand, which he gently tossed to Aziraphale. The angel nearly fumbled the catch, but managed to hold onto the object and look at it. For a few minutes, he just stared and said nothing. Finally he spoke.

“They would have killed you.”

Crowley drummed his fingers and fidgeted. “Yes they would have, and we all know who would be leading the pack, with a flaming sword in one hand and a flaming dick in the other, he’d be so damned happy for a chance to impale me on something or other.”

“Kill you for what?” Gabriel asked the screen. “I’m assuming you’re talking about me.”

Aziraphale moved to the sofa, looking to Crowley, who seemed to be trying to look everywhere but at his husband. Then, abruptly, he flopped face down onto Aziraphale’s stomach and began sobbing his heart out as the angel tried to comfort him.

“There there, my sweet emotional serpent. It’s all right.”

Crowley cried. Gabriel just stared in confusion, trying to figure out what was going on. It wasn’t until he’d stared at the white stick forgotten on the coffee table that he put down his ice cream, grabbed up his phone, and called Ruh the Cherub.

“DID THOSE TWO IDIOTS HONESTLY THINK THEY’D MANAGED TO MAKE A BABY?!”

“Well...” said Ruh slowly, “I can’t speak for _their_ thought processes, but I do know an Archangel who just royally busted his own ass, so maybe he shouldn’t be talking about the stupidity of others, hmm?”

“Shit.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

EPISODE FIVE – Better You Than Me.

“I have no sympathy,” was the first thing Michael said to Gabriel as the Archangel slogged his way back up from six months in Hell’s bowels. “None at all, you KNEW what would happen, but you kept watching anyway!”

“Never mind that, what did you learn about angels making babies with demons?”

“Cannot happen. It was agreed upon in the first centuries after Lucifer was cast out; it doesn’t matter how they arrange their anatomy, it is no different than a man with a man or a woman with a woman. It simply cannot happen.”

“Then why did they think...?”

“Gabriel, will you please listen to me? We were all told to stay away. Sandalphon and I have managed to do that, why can’t you?”

“Because I need to understand why they are happy.” Gabriel trudged into his apartments, dropping ruined, shit-stained clothing as he made his way to the shower. “I need to understand how these two formed a perfect union, and...I think I want what they have.”

“That would require finding someone who likes you,” mumbled Michael.

“What was that?”

“Wouldn’t that require you finding a demon of your own?”

“Michael! You’re a genius!”

Michael winced. “Oh dear God in Heaven, holiest of holies, WHY are you testing me this way? Gabriel if you keep this up, you are going to fall!”

“No, no, Beelzebub assured me that shall never happen. See? It’s good to have friends. Now! Who is the loveliest demon in Hell’s army? Only the best will do!”

There was only one place for an Archangel to catch a demon, and that would be the Summering Cliffs. No one knew where the name came from, only that the cliffs were located in the Mediterranean Sea, somewhere in the collection of islands between Athens and Rhodes. They existed in a sort of other-worldly pocket, and mortals rarely, if ever, set eyes upon the place. It was neutral ground, and many creatures came here to enjoy the sun and sparkling water, angel and demon alike.

There were several contenders for the title of “loveliest demon”, and one of the top ones was Avarice. His beauty complimented what he was; the force for the accumulation of wealth. He had no one colour to his skin and hair; instead he was a scintillating rainbow of all the things that sparkled and created a desire for wealth. Nothing about him was set; he appeared exactly how he needed to in order to perform his duties. To Gabriel, he was the most physically beautiful demon he had ever seen, as the sparkling creature sat on a cliff top, delicately eating a pomegranate. Gabriel sighed.

“Have you ever seen a more gloriously lovely being? He’s perfect for me. I will capture him, force him to submit to my will, and train him to be a far better companion to an angel than Crowley.”

“I don’t believe Aziraphale ever...” began Michael, but Gabriel was not listening. He simply drew out an enchanted net and threw it. Unerringly, it landed over Avarice. The demon stared down at his hand, his wonderful snack now quite destroyed by the holy net. He was not pleased to see Gabriel appear before him.

“There! I have caught you, and now you belong to me. You shall love me and serve me, and be my love forever. Now come along, I haven’t got all day.”

Avarice stared at Gabriel. “’Kay...”

Gabriel removed the net. Avarice stood up, stretched, flexed, then leapt off the cliff and did a perfect dive straight back to Hell, where nobody ruined your pomegranate and talked insane bullshit.

“My demon left,” Gabriel observed. 

“Perhaps you just need one that’s a little more...tame,” said Sandalphon. 

Sandalphon indicated some rocky precipices, where none other than Crowley was hopping about, exercising his still-fragile wings. He was wearing nothing, playing in the warm shallow water, slowly fanning his enormous wings. He spied something in the shallows and dove in, splashing around, finally catching his quarry. 

“Did he just catch a rock?” asked Gabriel. 

“Scallop,” said Sandalphon. “Very tasty, and rather fast-moving.”

Crowley was clearly focused on movement in the water. He dove in like some unlikely seabird, chasing and catching the shellfish as they fluttered about like strange butterflies. Gabriel shook out his net.

“No I don’t think that’s a good idea, Sandalphon. Oh but what about that green demon there? Oh she’s lovely! Let’s catch her.”

The green demon was better known to her friends as Envy, and she was in fact very beautiful. She had noticed Crowley diving for scallops, and came to catch some for herself, or perhaps sweet-talk Crowley out of his after he’d done all the work. She could even bully him into giving them up, since Crowley was a significantly lower level than she. At any rate, she had come for seafood, not Gabriel, and she watched as Crowley came shooting out of the water holding a large bag of scallops. Being higher up the chain of command than Crowley, she naturally assumed she could take his hard-won scallops for herself. However Crowley was in no mood for her bullshit, and Envy abruptly found herself with a faceful of serpent fangs. He bit, chewed, and tore until, screaming with rage, she pulled free and fled.

Gabriel, Sandalphon and Michael watched Crowley wash himself, pick up his shellfish, and carefully begin flying back to the mortal world, mindful of his damaged wing.

“Right,” said Gabriel. “Let’s go get ice cream instead.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

EPISODE SIX – It’s Late.

Gabriel walked across the flat expanse of green that covered the top of the cliff. All around the world was the colour of the Mediterranean sunset, and the sea was soft and calm, making gentle sounds as the waves slowly washed against the cliffs. There was a figure already standing there, gazing at the water. Gabriel slowly approached Crowley, coming to stand by his side.

“The sunsets are glorious here, aren’t they?” said Gabriel.

Crowley was doing something he almost never did; smoking. He held the cigarette in one long hand, black-painted claws reflecting the fading light. 

“What the hell do you want?”

Gabriel was a little taken aback. “Just... to talk. That’s all. It’s...been a long time.”

Crowley drew on his cigarette. “Y’know my angel asked me if I was a virgin the first time he and I made love. I had to think on that. Finally I said I’d had sex before, but I’d never made love with somebody I cared about. He got this enormous smile and said “So you were a virgin, too”. I like that thought.”

“Arariel...”

“That’s not my name anymore. You took that from me, remember? You took it all from me. My name, my graces, my innocence... all of it. Even my wings. Do you remember my wings, Gabriel? I was the only angel in all of Heaven with black wings, and their edges were touched with gold and silver. When I spread them, they showed the seas of the Moon. They were the most beautiful wings.” Crowley slowly spread them to reveal how they now looked. “They’re still pretty, I suppose.”

Gabriel winced at the sight of the wings, entirely black now, one with a great lightning-bolt shaped scar across the ulna, where the feathers never quite grew back.

“Why did you think you were pregnant?” he asked, staring at the grass beneath his feet.

“Oh isn’t that one of the things you claimed to love about me? My endearing naivety about how things worked?” Crowley drew on his cigarette. “Angel and I made love a number of times as a man and woman. I thought I felt something. Obviously I was wrong.”

“What did he say when you told him?”

“I said I thought I might be. Then we held each other and cried, because we knew if I was, you’d be sent for me.”

“I’d just be doing my duty.”

“Just following orders, hmm? Would it be like that time they tore open the bellies of the pregnant women and tossed their unborn babies off the cliffs?”

“Do you really think I would do that to you?”

“Well yes, actually, I do, especially after the whole summoning the elder demons and then repeatedly poisoning me when I wasn’t dying fast enough. And getting back to the whole sex thing...in all the times we...copulated...you never once asked my consent. And sadly I was too innocent and naive to know better. Oh and what was it you said to my angel? Was it a command to shut up and die?”

“Crowley...”

“You’re a bloody monster, Gabriel. You used me up and then once you had what you wanted, and I was now too stained to remain in Heaven, you set me outside the gates like an unwanted cat and locked them. And I sat there until I realized there was now only one place to go.”

“I forgive you for saying that.”

“I don’t need to be forgiven. I don’t need a damn thing from you. That scared little angel with the pretty black wings who desperately wanted your approval is dead now. You killed him. Now you have me. And I may not be the brightest demon, and chances are very high I will do many stupid things in the future, but I have love. I have the one and only thing I ever wanted from you, and never got.”

Gabriel looked to him, and forced himself to speak. “I’m sorry, Crowley.”

Crowley flicked away the last of his cigarette, exhaling smoke. Then he sang a few quiet words.

“It’s late, it’s late, it’s late, it’s all too late.” 

He angled his wings to catch the wind, allowing it to pick him up. Slowly he banked, heading for the mortal world, leaving Gabriel alone on the cliff top. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

Aziraphale had been napping in a chair when the door blew open and Crowley leapt in like a cat with a case of the zoomies. In fact he rather resembled one as he perched on the arms of the chair with all four limbs. Aziraphale stared in trepidation.

“Yes...?” he asked warily. 

Crowley held up a flyer. Aziraphale looked at it, and his eyes became large. 

“Oh a dance competition, what fun! What era shall we compete as?”

“Our best, of course. The 1920s and 30s.”

“Oh wear the pinstripe, Crowley, you look so beautiful in it! I’ll wear the flapper dress, the one with all the Egyptian style beadwork and embroidery.”

“You’ll have plenty of time to pick a dress. We just made the registration date, and we have another month. It’s a Halloween event.”

“Oh I’m so excited, I love researching styles.”

“Really,” said Crowley brightly, casting a meaningful glance at Aziraphale’s painfully outdated coat.

“Crowley don’t make me spank you.”

Crowley flashed his most wicked grin. “Why not?”

Up in Heaven, in his cold and quiet apartments, Gabriel sat in bed, a bowl of vanilla ice cream in his lap, thinking about what he had lost, and would never have again. Beside him on the white covers, his phone made a strange buzzing noise. Oh great, Beelzebub. He answered it.

“Hello?”

“I totally hate you, and you’re a complete asshole...”

“Thank you for that.”

“But there’s this dance thing on Earth that looks like it may not completely suck.”

“Is this an invitation?”

“No it’s a threat. We’re doing Big Band era. Bring your tuba.”

“It’s a trumpet.”

“Bring it.”

Beelzebub ended the call. Gabriel just stared at his phone, and felt a faint smile tug at his lips. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

EPISODE SEVEN – Jazz Man.

“This is so exciting, I haven’t been out dancing in years!” said Azalea. “Thank you so much for bringing me, even if I can’t really dance. Crowley you were born to wear that suit.”

“Yes he is gorgeous, isn’t he?” said Aziraphale. 

Crowley simply looked inordinately pleased with himself, dressed in a black silk suit with white pin-striping, white tie, black shoes with white spats, and a black fedora with a white hatband. He was altogether beautiful, and knew it. Although Aziraphale in his dove grey silk flapper dress with the gold and blue Egyptian style beadwork was not far behind. 

They parked the Bentley and got out, and stood before the club. Things were already jumping, and the music reached them all the way across the street. A light rain began to fall, and the trio hurried across the street and into the club. They found their table, ordered drinks, and watched the band. They were good – done up like Glenn Miller’s big band and swinging an amazing version of “In the Mood”. 

“They’re really good, aren’t they?” said Aziraphale. 

“Oh check out the lead trumpet player!” said Azalea. “He’s cute!”

They did. And stared. And stared some more, slowly cocking their heads from left to right at the tall man with the silver-blue zoot suit and the trumpet of purest gold. Crowley and Aziraphale made eye contact, staring at each other in complete astonishment.

“Can’t be,” said Crowley. “Can it?”

“I think it is,” said Aziraphale. “In fact I’m sure it is.”

“That’s it, where’s my phone? I’m getting video of this. What in the nine Hells is he doing up there playing the trumpet?”

“Well we know what he’s doing up there playing the trumpet,” said Aziraphale. “A better question is why is Beelzebub playing the upright bass?”


End file.
